And of course there is something to be said about how pretty and confident is the woman that I am speaking to. My lack of Machiavellian bravery begins with over thinking and assuming. Confidence requires neither of these attributes. "Confidence is a moron, coolness is the cat."
I have spent relentless hours in coffee shops trying to write my blog articles while being tortured by the droning of nervous men attempting to portray themselves as sexual lumber jack (-asses). Interrupting their date, whining about past relationships, extolling their minor accomplishments. Even asking questions with the specific intent of leading the woman down the road of another sordid tale of their verbosity.
This is a coffee date, not a marriage proposal. Why sell the whole car lot when she just wants a test drive?
Some real advice from a student of dating trial and error-ing. Speak what you hear.
- Is she divorced with kids or without?
- Did she say that her kids are in school?
- How old are they?
- Does she like the car she is driving?
- Can you relate a story that makes her feel stronger?
- What movie almost made you cry?
- Are you worried about feeding children in other countries?
- Does she like the Arrested Development TV series?
Just be a big brother, cousin, gay friend, very macho sister but for heaven sake drop it down to third gear. A drag race is short, loud and virtually pointless except to everyone but the driver.
Listeners are better lovers, fathers, husbands, boyfriends.
So don't say "I Can't Talk To Women" unless you are sure women can't talk to you first.